Moving forward with my life

[cbtdad]

I am starting a new thread and it will be about me becoming the man I can be and who I want to be.
I am so disappointed in myself right now. I really let me and a lot of you down who have been trying to help me move forward. I backslid big time by snooping. Snooping causes me to hate myself and yet I did anyways. What is wrong with me ??!!
I found out that W could have definitely made it back to spend time with son Tuesday or Wed for sure, but chose to stay up there with OM and cook dinner, drink and sleep together. Those are her choices and it disappoints me greatly for my son. But as Urworthy has said I can't make her think like I do.
I sent her a few texts and of course she hasn't replied. My anger came out that I had been suppressing. Here is what I sent and I am very disappointed in myself for it:

Me: You have a lost all my respect as a mother and as a person!!
You are such a liar and I feel bad for son that he can't choose who his mother is

Me: Thank God I can choose who I get to be with, unfortunately he doesn't get that choice.
Your world is about to be turned upside down. Get ready

Me: This poor girl is about to find out everything as well.
Liars deserve to be outed. Good guy my ass! And you have good morals. Lol

Me: I want you to understand something. Everything that I am so upset about has Nothing to do with you and I. I have no desire what so ever to be with the person you are.
I am so angry about how you are handling this for our son. You are not seeing what I'm seeing. You are CHOOSING to do what you want with the total disregard of his feelings. It has just sent me to a point of complete disappointment. I truly hope you figure out one day what makes you happy and what you want so you can be the best mother for him



Like I said. I am really disappointed in myself and feel like a complete loser. I tried to keep my emotions in check and I failed miserably.
I don't think there is any recovering from this and I really don't think I can ever trust her anyways.
I need to move on with my life and be the man I'm capable of