Today H returned from his 3day work absence but it was only for a few hours befor he needed to go back in the city. He roared at me like an angry devil on the phone just outside a DD about there not being any money in the account for a coffee. I said I don't know why your having such trouble but your too angry to be calling me!

As he came home to my new summer decor change he was very respectful to the clean pretty house but angrily killed a loaf of bread! The anger in this man could make him combust one day. I went about my day doing for myself, I didn't speak to him unless he spoke pleasantly first.

As he left I was doing yard work and he looked at me with very "guilty for being an a$$" eyes as he said goodby very quietly.

So here I am alone again but I'm ok. I mowed the lawn, went to the doctor, spent time w/d19, S21 is trying to get me to play a video game, maybe not! I love when he's not here, there is no value to him being here, he thinks his chores make it worth his presence, sorry it's not like he's doing anything I can't do, without the drama!

I hired roofers for the back porch to which h said, well it's not like I did it or was ever going to because I'm such a looser, just tell me the cost, that I can do! Ok!

I made dinner plans w/bff, I'm going to a cousins kiddy party soon, and I started my diet and walking again with my neighbor. I need my time filled but it's still such and effort, at least I am content w H's absence, not like last yr when I was in such a dep, and fog of my own.

So those are my baby steps, what have you done for you?

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!