I am a NICE shark, not a mindless eating machine.

[Underdog]

It was a close call on fish sobriety tonight... I'll tell now while I'm still a little pissed.

Mr. Wonderful called me from his office when I was on cell and on my way home. He was finally returning the call I had put into him early this morning (wanting to know how both the girls were feeling, thanking him for doing dishes so I could run errands with my cousin, etc.).

He throws out the following curve ball... "Bets, remember I have the bowling tournament on Sunday and you agreed to take the girls really early."

WHAT?????

My real answer, "Huh? What bowling tournament?"

It gets better...

MW: "Well, I asked you if it was okay the other night."

Me: "????? What? When did we have this conversation?"

MW: "The night I got back from LA."

Oh, THAT night. Was that the night that you nonchalantly informed me of your sudden move? Was that the mindless chatter you initiated, speaking at the speed of light and in an unintelligible mutter?

You a*hole. You sprung a litany of crap in about 10 seconds after you dropped me a mind blowing bomb. What other surprises was I supposed to hear?

Me: "Wow, I really am having a senior moment or I didn't realize what Sunday you were talking about."

MW: (In a sort of snotty tone) "Well, Bets, what Sunday did you THINK I was talking about?"

Well, since we all know that you abhor advanced planning, I must be extremely stupid.

Me: "Sorry"

MW: "That's OK. If it isn't okay with you, can you tell me now so I can get a sub?"

Me: "No, that's fine. What time were you thinking about bringing them home?"

MW: "Uh, about 7:30."

Before coffee? Why do these bowling and golf tournaments always seem to fall on the days he's supposed to have the girls?

Me: "OK. I have to go now because I'm home and I need to explain to Tia why I'm 10 minutes late."

MW: "See ya later."

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH.

So my plans are once again thwarted. No Meals on Wheels. But I'm thinking about making one of his fave chicken casseroles and having it all ready to go when he brings the girls home. It will definitely keep in the car.

I know there's a law about poisoning his food. Short of a pipe bomb in his mailbox, what now? He is really testing my sobriety...

Anchor, Chum, you don't have to worry about INTERVENTION! but it was certainly tempting...