You are in control of you. There is no one forcing you to text your wife about OM. No one stopping you from saying whatever you want to say.
The thing is this. It is all your choice.
You can continue to feel the way you do with your feelings all tied up into whatever your wife is doing or saying. Or you can make a choice not to live that way.
But I will tell you without a single doubt in my mind, that if you say the things I know you want to say, you will push her further away.
That's the bottom line.
And the reason why is fundamental to human beings. We have a need to be heard. We have a need to know that we matter enough that what we want is important. That's how your wife feels and that's how you should feel about you. When she feels that she is not being heard, she feels less than, unworthy.
And I understand the logical part of your brain having a hard time with not seeing tangible changes in yourself. I do. But here's the thing. The changes you need to make are not tangible. They're not able to be seen in a concrete way.
And the reason is because they are feelings, they are characteristics, they are attributes.
I've done talk therapy, I've read, I've prayed, I've spoken with friends and I was lucky enough to find a few people on here who helped me change. But at the end of the day, it was on me.
And the most important thing I did was I worked hard. I challenged myself. I set goals. I made myself accountable. I looked inside and dug deep.
It wasnt easy, my friend. Still isnt as I am always a work in progress. But, the rewards are so great, J.
I want that for you. I want you to get to a place where you are no longer afraid, where you are ok no matter what happens.
But most of all, I want you to realize your worth. I want you to really and truly believe that you matter in this world, that you have gifts unlike anyone else, that you are strong enough to look at your fears and rise above them.
So, let's start. I know that you are afraid of letting your wife go. Why is that? What would happen if you do?
