I have done nothing over the last 3 year but try to tell my wife she is talented and interior design (which she is) and that I support her 100 percent on getting a career and not being a stay at home mom.
She is the way who said I promised her she never had to work. I have never tried to keep her down at all...never. The question was only related to how all of you say to not evee help them ruin the family. If they want a job so they can move out, let them go through that hassle.
The problem is, I see a.job as a good thing for her. She does nothing all day now that daughter is full time school. Just gives her more time to feel depressed and down, and seek attention from OM.
Gabbysmom I really do think you have some valid points and totally respect your opinion.
But sometimes your analysis harsh and doesnt give me the benefit of the doubt of perhaps having chosen the wrong words.
I have the best intentions for my wife. I have nothing but love for her. So much that I want her to be happy and if a job and career will bring that, even at the expense of her moving on, then so be it.
I just believe that if she valued herself more, she wouldnt be seeing this loser. She wouldnt feel trapped, and people who are left to their own accord usually choose the right option. That is DB principles at their root.
Also she did say job search was intimidating. No mind reading there.
I didnt suggest its better she stays dependant on me. Quite the contrary. I was suggesting a job would be good for her self esteem but should be helping her with that?
I dont see any narcism in my posts. I see a person who is seeking guidance from a forum full of people who.often have very opposite advice. So I was indicating the two sets of reasoning that are possible so that people could see that i.anticipate those.points.from all.
In any case gabbysmom, i.will thank.about your comments. I know you are trying to.light a fire under my butt and I know exactly.what you want me to do. Your prefered outcome is inevitable if my sitch continues like this.bu currently I believe it is premature.
My coach had said to allow at least 6 months if not more to allow W space and time. DB principle is to do things from a place of love and that is why i.want her to.get a job. It will be good for her. And i.believe she would stay if she felt.better about herself and didnt feel financially trapped.
Thank you again for your input.
Let.me simplify the question.... Should I be helping her find a job if I can, or do you let the WAW go through that inconvenience on her own?
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
