So, my sitch has been very public for a year and a half. I'm not able to keep things modestly hidden from people. When I am sharing with people, I try not to let them know any details that they don't already know. If they don't know she is having an affair, I don't tell them. I often say something like "We're still married and I'm trying to think and act like a married man." and "I don't know why she doesn't divorce me, and I don't know why I don't divorce her."
That last part is tearing me up. Why don't I just divorce her? We are in TX, and she can D me w/no-fault. Or I could file and D her for fault of adultery. She's not thinking at all about reconciling. She is working hard to make her new life work. I'm tired of propping it up for her to get things into place. I'm tired of living out of my trunk. I'm tired of limbo. I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't love me.
I've seen it said on here that if you're not sure if you are done, then you have another day in you. I'm not sure if I want to spend my last days growing colder and sadder and pining away. I can survive another day. But I don't want to die for something that's already dead.
