So I guess my real fear and knowing her is, if I don't push for the relationship I know it will end.
DB is the exact opposite of this. How can we help you?
You are not in the place you were last time, you are in a 100% new place. Times changed, more things have happened, you can't go back in time and imagine a hypothetical different outcome. You have to work with the reality you have right now. Right now are you in a place where you could be a different man if she changed her mind? What about you is different?
Now you're here, admitting that you commit verbal abuse, and blaming her, and texting pressuring, pursuing, and berating words as if you have no control over your own behavior. You have plenty to work on, and that is what you should do. That's what I advised before, and I stand by that.
I know you mean well and want your family back. What you have been doing is not working. If you want to try the DB method you have to have some faith in things that don't make sense to you right now. And you are really not far enough into healing your own stuff yet; I would think that would be keeping you very busy.
Anyway, sorry to be piling mean words on your hurt. To me right now verbally abusive behavior should be something you would want to get to the bottom of and eradicate it from your personality, and I can't figure out why that doesn't seem like an imperative to you, much more imperative than luring your W back for more abuse in the future.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
