Thanks snodderly and CB. I try to do my homework, but its like I wake up in a new world everyday. I can't remember jack! I should have all this stuff down pat about the time W wakes up. Just kidding! I fall into the trap of thinking mine is unique and forget they're all singing from the same song book.
CB, I tell you, I have to work real hard to get out of my own way. I'm very opinionated by nature, so I have to watch my tongue. Historically, it hasn't been a problem. This situation is different because W thinks I'm motivated by selfish reasons. You think?!? So, I walk away a lot to keep things from getting worse.
Snodderly, I wish you could take over my brain. You are one amazing lady and an invaluable resource. Keep me on the straight and narrow. I'll get it right one of these days.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Practice makes perfect. You will make mistakes along the way and if you do, just dust yourself off and continue to move forward.
The reason you can't remember jack is because you are shell shocked by the entire situation. Don't be too hard on yourself...it will get easier and yes, you'll even be able to remember things more clearly and for longer periods of time.
It took me a long time to figure things out and while my brain was like swiss cheese, I read and educated myself on mlc, depression, personality disorders, etc. I even took the time to talk to other mlcers in order to better understand where their minds where at and believe me...that was enlightening to say the least! LOL!
I promise you...you will get better at this and it will get easier in time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mtnman, I agree with snodderly, it will get better.
I remember last fall being worried as I was having lapses in my thought connection. Like I couldn't concentrate for very long on one subject and my mind would just blank out.
Two of my GF's assured me it was just stress. It was. It phased out and I don't have any problem now.
What are your weekend plans?
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
W is leaving on her weekend trip today after we get our church directory pics made. Tomorrow evening I'm taking the boys to see the new iron man movie, Saturday is baseball game and Sunday will be church. Any free time I'll spend mowing grass, weeding flower beds, etc. I hope! More likely it will be breaking up fights, trying to keep gas in dirt bikes, and food in stomachs. I swear my two are like a 9 month old baby, you've got to feed them about every hour and a half.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
You might want to go on Fandango and purchase your Iron Man tickets today. In my area, they are sold out for the 4 showings tomorrow, as well as Saturday and Sunday.
Sounds like you will have a busy weekend. Wish her well and hopefully this trip will help her settle down a bit.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, you crack me up. I live in the sticks. After you pay to get in the theater, the same person turns around and makes you popcorn and a coke. You better hope there isn't a rush cause its hard for her to do both! We will go early as I'm sure it will be packed. I've used fandango when traveling with W and it is a great thing.
Again, I truly appreciate everyone's help and encouragement. Without this place I would've walked away from my marriage thinking this is just what happens, might as well move on (and not in the dber way). You are all earning stars in your crown.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I'm feeling a little guilty. W is on her weekend trip and texted me a few mins ago to ask about things here, and talk about what she's been doing. All positive fun chat. The guilt comes in with her asking if the boys had asked about her. I was honest and told her they asked yesterday after school when she would be home. That's it. Not at bedtime, not this morning, etc. I know she wants them to miss her, but her being away is normal to them.
I feel like I should've made something up. Have to remind myself that actions have consequences. Maybe it will help her? I hope so.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I think it's good to be honest. Don't make her feel guilty or act negatively about the kids not asking about her. You could even say, of course they miss you. They were asking me "this" and "this." She's got a lot of guilt to deal with and it's hard for them to deal with situations like this in a normal way. You and I may feel guilty and it would cause us to make positive changes and spend more time with the kids. Your W may feel guilty and this would cause her to think that everyone should hate her, she cant fix anything, and everyone is better off without her.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
Thanks Raine! I have no doubt they miss her, but they haven't mentioned it. Tonight or tomorrow they will because she will have been gone long enough. At least in their mind.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
