I am always interested when married couples talk about their finances. As my xSO was entering into the tunnel, one of things that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up was the insistence that everything earned was shared and that I would not be allowed to have my own bank account separate from a family joint bank account.
Now, I do not personally subscribe to your H's school of thought of what is mine is mine but I do agree that I have worked very hard to be where I am professionally and if I want some "fun money" out of that, I should be allowed. And, if I want to get him a gift or if he wanted to get me one, having it come out of the joint account seems kinda dumb to me.
There were no issues with kids or one of us being the sole breadwinner which is quite different.
He could not get it through his head that we as a couple should do what was right for US and not simply subscribe to how HE thinks this marriage utopia should look like. In some ways, if he continues to believe in the utter fantasy of the white picket fence and having no trouble within it, this GF is going to have a lot of pressure on her to perform her wifely role to a tee. He once said to me that he chose her because "she already had that", referring to "married life". Yep, a she did a bang up job of it as well, given that the ink is barely dry on her divorce decree.
