WH, the need to have a plan for us is baffling. When they filed for D the joint planning ended. It is driving my STBX bananas that I would choose to pay a mortgage over finding a cheap rental. He's completely driven by money and doesn't take into account what's best for the boys which includes keeping them in their home and schools.
It's amazing to me that he would continue to run up legal bills and keep us both from moving on just so he can try to enforce the living situation he thinks I should have. With the sudden turn around in the housing market my house has a lot more equity than a year ago. I felt certain that sacrificing to pay the mortgage, instead of selling, would be a good investment and I was right. My STBX wanted to sell believing that real estate would continue to decline. When we agreed that I would keep the house he made it clear that I was responsible for any liabilities including decreased value. Well, now that there's a fair amount of equity he feels entitled, but under the guise of "I want you to be happy in a house you can afford" and is looking for a payout.
I don't know if it's the compulsive gambler or MLCer that I'm having to deal with the most these days. Both are crazy makers.
I made a vision board months ago. I look at it daily and ponder what action I can take now to get me closer to the life I've planned. It really helps when I start feeling like I'm not in control. There is a lot going on that I don't like and wish I could change, but there's plenty that I'm in charge of including the type of person I want to be. So, today, I will continue to have compassion and understanding for others, including my STBX.
