KD, life insurance (and a lot of it). That's how I would afford my expenses should my STBX die. While he's living he has a legal obligation to pay support. In my state I can have his wages garnished with or without a support order. I've been holding off getting the DA involved since doing that is pretty much declaring war. However, the upside is that they will uncover every bank account, investment, etc. that he's been hiding. Really, I should have taken that step when he abandoned me and the boys 17 months ago. Maybe you missed the beginning of my story. I was a SAHM for 15 years. That was a decision that he agreed to and benefited from. In that time his salary more than tripled. He doesn't just get to walk away and decide whether he will pay for support or not. The biggest mistake I made was not taking swift action from day one. I was too focused on understanding the feelings beyond the actions. I'm not going to stop being true to myself, but I will protect me and the boys even if that means taking action that's adversarial.