Suckerpunch down to the wire

[labug]

Sp, I have been a very poor communicator in the past. I'm still a work in progress. Many things I said had a double meaning, there was what was on the surface and then the subtext, the lesson I was trying to get across. It was very subtle and I didn't even realize it much of the time because I hadn't faced all the fear, hurt and resentment inside me.

It took listening to people here on the boards, lots of reading and studying and facing myself, digging for my motives, slowing down and thinking. Asking myself, what is it I really want to convey?

You're probably trying to change things you learned without really knowing you were learning it. Listen to those close to you, do you hear the words they're speaking but know there's a hidden meaning?

Learning to communicate honestly, without a hidden agenda is like learning to speak a foreign language.

Change doesn't happen overnight, it takes work, lots of work and for me the help of a very good IC.

But every painful step has been worth it.

You've said many times how much you love your D and would do anything for her. I can't think of a better, more life changing gift than her learning from you how to communicate honestly and with compassion.