darth vader and i

[BFloat]

When I got home, my dishes were done and the garbage was taken out. That was a nice surprise. It took me a second to figure out what had happened. I guess H came by to pick up some stuff and decided to do some stuff for me? He usually just comes and goes without batting an eye at the mess.

Also, he went by S's school at lunch to visit him. H has mentioned in the past that he wants to do it but nothing ever materializes. So it was nice when S said H came by and they had a picnic.

I went to see a counsellor today. The minute I walked into the office I felt anxiety. I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen today. IC focussed on accepting and moving on. Did I want to instead hear.. There's always hope? I don't know. I feel as though I've regressed. It's difficult because I feel that I'm not quite done with my M and the logical side of me says.. "Are you crazy???"

Most people tell me I'm too nice.. I should kick him to the curb.. I deserve so much better.. I know they say these things because they love and care about me. But I wonder..