Take the hits and keep moving forward.

[Papa4Life]

Hi T1000, I don't know the answer to your problem, but I can definitely say that you probably want to ease up on the texts. No need to respond to her immediately anyway, why do you think you need to live by her timetable? She wants a response? You'll get back to her when you have the time. Let her wait a bit. It'll give you time to center yourself and hopefully respond in a less emotionally charged manner.

Maybe the next time she sends a text that's laden with this kind of potential for a blowup you can just say, this is a difficult topic to talk about in a text. Let's talk about this the next time we see each other. That will give you the opportunity to listen and validate but still set your boundaries. Just a thought.