First, it reminded me how NOT detached I truly am.
Exactly, glad you're finally seeing that
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My problem is this, I do not know how to show her my changes. That is not to say that I am wishing to "SHOW" her, it is simply that we do not interact in anyway shape or form.
That text exchange was a HUGE interaction and great opportunity to show her 180's. Sympathy, respect and validation would have been great 180's. This one didn't go well, but learn from it and hopefully the next convo will be better.
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Of course she isn't seeing any changes. She is wrapped up in the "opposite teams" idea so much, that she isn't even open to simple conversations.
Be honest with yourself here, ask yourself if perhaps you have not exactly been open to simple conversations either and if maybe you too have been caught up in the "opposite teams" idea.
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I just don't know how to handle her anymore. Regardless of how I engage her, she just seems to grow angrier or use our interaction to remind me how "DONE" she is.
Here is the irony, when I read her comments they don't sound like someone that is done, they sound like someone that is frustrated and desperately seeking a solution. The only solution she sees right now is D, because you haven't shown her a better solution. But I don't think that is the one she wants, at least it doesn't sound like it in her words.
It's coming through loud and clear that she feels like it's her against the world, regardless of what you think, her perception (and her perception is frankly all that counts here) is that YOU have gathered everyone against her, that YOU have turned them all against her. Ask yourself if that is even 1% true, and ask yourself what you can do right now to change that dynamic. If you really want to reconcile, then first swallow your pride and go to EVERY friend, family member and customer and tell them you had a talk with your W and that she is really hurting from the way she's being treated. Apologize to them for giving them the wrong impression of your W, tell them what a warm, caring person she is and that if you told them anything that made them think otherwise that you were wrong. Confess your sins to them! Tell them you weren't the best husband, that she is doing what she feels is best for her because of the pain she's been through and that you SUPPORT her decision. GET ON HER SIDE. If you can do this, you're well on your way to healing and becoming an even better you. You may think it'll be embarrassing, but I think you'll gain respect from these people, and from your W as well. This actually isn't as difficult as it sounds. I did it, and you actually start feeling pretty good about yourself and your W when you talk her up to others.
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I do wish to reconcile. I would take my wife back in a second. However, she doesn't want to come back.
Why do you think it's called "walkaway wife syndrome"? Of course she doesn't want to come back. None of them do. At first. That's the script. Why are you letting THAT effect you? You KNOW that's the script. You KNOW they all say that. Let's talk about your DB'ing instead. You can do this. It's NEVER too late.
