It brings me out of the well reading your explanations & advice on all of this craziness that I am seeing, hearing & feeling.
I'm very glad to help That's the beauty of these forums is you don't hear from people who read it in a book and give you false sympathy for what they think you're going through, you hear from people that are right there next to you in the trenches going through all the same trials and tribulations. They may be ahead of you or even behind you on the timeline, but it helps to know you're not alone. It's still extremely painful to go through and often you'll feel terribly alone, but these forums can hopefully instill hope in you- hope that despite things seeming really bleak there IS still a chance you might reconcile in the future, and also hope that even if you never reconcile you do still have a great life ahead of you. There was a time when I thought "my marriage is about to go off of life support, maybe I shouldn't post here anymore" but I think it's just as important for people to hear stories like mine, where I am not just going to survive losing my W but will thrive and mostly likely go on to an even better life.
Originally Posted By: Tonkarider
I think I will "lovingly" pack up at least his clothes still hanging in the closet & leave them by the door for his next suprise visit when I am not home.
By all means, do it and then text or email him that you've packed up the rest of his stuff and would like for him to come get it. Then tell him you want him to respect your privacy and not just let himself in, but ask permission first and knock when he gets there. That may sound a little cold, but it's consistent with DB'ing in that you want to make him thing you're moving on in life whether with or without him. I did this and I also took down all the pics of W in the house. I didn't do it to spite her, I just couldn't stand seeing her stare back at me when she was gone. It helped me detach.
That's the beauty of these forums is you don't hear from people who read it in a book and give you false sympathy for what they think you're going through, you hear from people that are right there next to you in the trenches going through all the same trials and tribulations. They may be ahead of you or even behind you on the timeline, but it helps to know you're not alone. It's still extremely painful to go through and often you'll feel terribly alone, but these forums can hopefully instill hope in you- hope that despite things seeming really bleak there IS still a chance you might reconcile in the future, and also hope that even if you never reconcile you do still have a great life ahead of you. There was a time when I thought "my marriage is about to go off of life support, maybe I shouldn't post here anymore" but I think it's just as important for people to hear stories like mine, where I am not just going to survive losing my W but will thrive and mostly likely go on to an even better life.
