Suckerpunch down to the wire

[25yearsmlc]

Wow, you sure blew that conversation. Your words and hers, are in Red...mine are in regular black print.

You didn't lose your temper, so I guess that's something that could have gone worse.

But you argued with her PERCEPTIONS of how she was treated by you. Instead of showing change, which would mean you acknowledge and own your role, and NOT mention hers right after

you told her she wasn't correct...or you justified it...so you still negated her views and her worth.

She said:


W:I guess we both wish we could have changed each other. I wanted you to treat me like you loved and cared for me while we were together and you want me to try now that we are apart. Maybe we just we not meant to be.

W:I know you dont accept my choice but for once in our marriage please respect my wishes to move on. I am sorry (husband) but that is what I want. I havent waivered on that at all.


Instead of owning and apologizing for NOT making her feel loved or cared for, b/c this^^^ is where you had your chance!!! But nope, instead you said:


ME: i feel you have commited yourself to a path. I honestly feel that even if you wanted to, your ego wouldnt allow you to come back. That makes me sad. It makes me sad that I miss taylor like crazy when she is with you. it makes me sad that you miss her as well. I miss you like I cannot even express. This whole thing has been such a wake up call for me. I just feelt that if we could get passed our egos and you would allow me to show you.....I wouldnt let you be unhappy for another day. I realize Now (maybe too late) that the most important thing in my life is YOUR life and (daughter). I get it. I really get it, (wife)



But no, you don't get it! You just want her back. You don't think you treated her badly. OR badly enough.

You keep forgetting the belittling ways you had with her and how you "liked to argue" which she did NOT like. It wore her down. For years...

the way I see it and the way I wish women would NOT be, is that we women, WAWs, tend not to leave until our tanks are truly EMPTY.

Then we don't see the need or desire to work on things b/c we already stayed, until we could no longer. We only leave, usually, when we have nothing positive left to say or feel or even imagine...

But that's what happened. I suspect she warned you many times that she was going to leave. But you didn't hear it. Or you negated it.

I KNOW she said she was not happy with the way you were treating her

but I think you told her you were treating her fine. IOW you made it clear that she was wrong to feel sad or hurt...you invalidated her while married and you still are. You don't seem to grasp that she DID feel hurt. She's not lying.

And it's not insane of her. Why do you keep going in circles about this?

I don't care how popular you are with customers. Or how wrong THEY think she is. They were not in the home with you two.

You didn't treat HER right, you didn't treat HER the way you should have, and you know it. But you EXPECT and you feel entitled to another chance.

But even when you get the chance to show change or realizations, like in this conversation, you could have done so much better

you sound like a slightly calmer version of your old self. She's still mostly wrong. AND You're still mostly right. That's progress??? That's stagnation. And ego on your end...

Here is my favorite, but most shocking example of how you STILL treat her...

YOU actually asked her this question:


ME:how are you working on bettering yourself?


Wow, wow....you don't get it SP...you just don't.

IMO, For you to ask her something like that, is nothing less than an outrage.

If you are interested in what is making her happy, ask her THAT...but

your question and your wording are very revealing.

wake up man...wake the hell up.