It's been a weird day/week/month. Today my WAW and I spoke. Told each other some jokes, talked about her bum knee and I said "How are you? Are you doing ok? Did something happen?" I could hear a difference, felt it... but couldn't put my finger on it. And then she said it. "I ended it."
I asked too many questions. I was caught off guard. Like, “what happened?” She said she doesn’t want to talk about it. I pushed. Oops. I really was caught off guard. I asked “Did she hurt you?” She said “No. I ended it. “ I asked “Why?” She said “We just don’t get along.” I snapped back to reality and backed off and told her I would try to listen if she needed me to. Weird. Am I really going to try to help my cheating spouse through a break up? So surreal.
We went back to playful joking. She called me later so say that she had to come in town this weekend to fly out for a job she got and then in two weeks she has another assignment. I told her I was going to be on vacation the week in between. She asked if she could just stay at home while I was gone. I said of course this was still her home. A few hours later she called me to tell me she’s renting a car. (we only have one and since S 4 months ago she has been driving around in her brother’s car since she is staying there) So this time she is not driving his car in to town. She getting a one-way rental and will be here it looks like through the end of the month.
Did I miss something? Are we nonchalantly moving home and not discussing it? What is going on? Can we rewind the tape? She called back to say that she knows I will be talking to our friends at some point because I am going on vacation with them. She said “You can tell them I ended it but they don’t need to know the why’s and what happened’s.” I said “No worries. I don’t even know that stuff.” She quickly said, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” She told me she would call me and let me know when she would be arriving. She said "I love you." I responded "I love you too" and we hung up.
Ummmm…. This is not how I pictured it. Where’s the “Oh RealityTrip!, I made the biggest mistake. I am so sorry. I love you can you ever forgive me?” Is she really just coming down for the month and then going back to her brother’s? I didn’t dare ask. Help!!!! What do I do? What is going on and why didn’t I get a head’s up? I feel like this is a very fragile moment. My instincts are failing me on how to proceed.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
