Well, I got a couple things from the conversation. First, it reminded me how NOT detached I truly am. I have been completely sideways since we texted back and forth last night. The relationship conversation definitely effected me emotionally, feelings that have not really come up lately. I thought I was further along.
Recently, we have had little to no personal contact. Every interaction has been regarding daughter, and most of those are simple one sentence texts. We have been pretty disconnected from each other, even though we are living very close to one another.
My problem is this, I do not know how to show her my changes. That is not to say that I am wishing to "SHOW" her, it is simply that we do not interact in anyway shape or form. Of course she isn't seeing any changes. She is wrapped up in the "opposite teams" idea so much, that she isn't even open to simple conversations. She is completely disconnected, so how do I even start to engage her enough to show her I have changed? This has been a problem for me since day one. What can I possibly do? She sees me being a better dad. She hears that I am being a better friend and a better man in general. But, she never actually looks or interacts WITH me.
I know that my conversation wasn't very DB. I was hurt when she initiated the conversation. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful of her, but it sounds like that is the way I came across. I just don't know how to handle her anymore. Regardless of how I engage her, she just seems to grow angrier or use our interaction to remind me how "DONE" she is. The only time she seems to be calm, is when I don't speak or interact with her at all. That is what I have been trying to do lately.
I do wish to reconcile. I would take my wife back in a second. However, she doesn't want to come back. She wants to hurry up and divorce. Like I have been saying for some time, she hasn't waivered a bit in her conviction to move on with her life. She even stated almost those exact words in our converstion.I know I am not supposed to believe anyting she says and only half of what she does. However, my wife is not one to pull punches or throw out idle threats. Usually what she says is exactly what she means.
I know I would have to show her that coming back to the relationship would be the best for her. I guess I need to "win her back". Unfortunately, I honestly can't figure out how to do that. I don't think she would ever even want me to do that. So, how do I proceed?
