Welp I screwed up again. Was texting wife cause I was lonely by myself. saying I wish you were here blah blah. Then she finally responds leave me alone please. and I went off. telling her She wasted 6 yrs years of my life and that her OM must be getting mad that I'm texting and shes exactly like her mom.
Wow, that was really bad. That's the kind of thing that tells her that leaving you is the right thing to do. It reinforces every negative thought she has about you. You have got to change this behavior ASAP. First, you have got to quit the "I'm so lonely without you" texts, to you it sounds like reaching out, to her it sounds weak, pathetic and desperate. Next, you've got to quit the blame-storming. SHE sees YOU as the reason for everything that is wrong. When you blame her, it just sounds selfish to her, like you are heaping all the blame on her and not taking any responsibility for yourself. Plus the combination of reaching out to her immediately followed by the angry outburst sounds very passive/ aggressive which is a form of control and manipulation, another thing that pushes the WAS further away.
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Just the pain of this process is unbearable at times.
Yes it is. And it's at those times when you turn to these forums or to your support group, NOT your W!!!! She doesn't want you, and she especially doesn't want your neediness. You have got to change your behavior to something she DOES want. You have to be happy, content, confident. You have to exude PMA and self-confidence. Work on YOU and leave her alone!
