L likes my response above. Said that should be my position. No judging or accusing. Just get a conversation started.
He said this is consistent with her filing for D soon.
God this is awful.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Already sent it. Her response: Crazy busy Will have to get back to ya
I do sound preachy when my words are thought out in advance.
Here's some mind reading for you...how could her language be so casual?
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
What bothers me more than the cost is seeing the R unravel to a point where we can't discuss issues on our own.
I'd gladly shell out thousands to work on the R. But it seems wrong to pay for its demise.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Just got a call from high school. S16 was at OM w/W Sunday night, and was late to school Monday morning. Got kicked out of mat class for being disruptive.
No school Tuesday. I believe he was with D Monday night, as I saw them briefly.
This morning he was two hours late again, and has been given in school suspension for his behavior Monday.
This while under her supervision not mine. It doesn't appear she will be able to say the fault is all mine for his behavior.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
This morning he was two hours late again, and has been given in school suspension for his behavior Monday.
This while under her supervision not mine. It doesn't appear she will be able to say the fault is all mine for his behavior.
This is not a time for blame. How can the two of you work together to get S16 through this? At a minimum I would have the school counselor talk to S16 and then you and W talk to the counselor for input. He/ she may suggest IC for S16, if so I would pursue that. Burn this into your brain- this is not your W' fault. It is not your S16's fault. It is not OM's fault. It is not about fault, it is about finding a solution to the problem. S16 needs help, both of you need to be there for him.
AS I agree in a way. This attitude from him is a pattern that has developed over several years. As parents, we have not handled it well, so I blame US, not her or me or him individually.
I assume based on this action by her that she is going to blame ME. She has him now and appears to be trying to keep him from me. I had to twist arms just to find out where he is. They thought he had dentist appt tomorrow for some reason and he just texted he already had a ride.
I can't be there for him if I'm blamed and separated from him. My point was that he doesn't respect or act any better with her than me.
IC has been suggested, he is resistant.
On a positive note, I am not wailing and weeping now like I was most of the afternoon.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
I just got off work, am rather tired, and want to know what wife thinks about my text yesterday re:mediation concerning S16 and my suggestion to just talk things out ourselves for starters.
Should I text her now, "Hey, did you think about my suggestion yesterday?
Do it after sleeping? Ie about the time we need to start checking on location of S16?
Lay low, wait for her response? In the interest of not being pushy
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Is there hope after bringing in L? I have only focused here on sithches similar to my own in that regard, and can't remember.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
