I haven't read the SSM yet, but the beauty of all of Michele's other books is, your spouse doesn't have to read them for you to start putting the principles into action. If you change your behavior, eventually your wife must change hers.
Also consider reading a non-sex related book called the Five Love Languages by Chapman - the more you can make her feel loved in other aspects of your R, the better luck you will probably have with the sexual issues.
