Ok so I did say i was sorry to WAW about swearing at her. got no reply from her. but i found about 3 boxes her stuff in the house. alot a wedding pic's. Should I give them to her? I took what i wanted. I also had a large bag of purple rose pedals and butterfly's i was going to use last year when she was still in the house for valentines day. should I sent them to her to. I do not want them.

I had a total mental emotional breakdown last night. I just felt that i just wanted to end it all. no im not that stupid. I am just sharing how bad was and well still feel bad.

I just have to deal with WAW and Packing up cause I need to be out by the end of this month. I have not found a place yet. Im looking but rentals hare hard to find i need a house and one that will take a dog and saltwater tanks.. On top of that the wife has moved and im sure it is with her new BF or GF. i still dont know.

But i cant stress how down i am and how much and how many times i just feel like ending it. My Medical Dr had put me on meds but they do not feel like they work and i told him. My DB Coach last session just did not know what to do any more.

i keep in touch with WAW mom and my step daughter and step son all by there doing not me. I just want to be happy and in love. I am doing the best i can to join groups and but it just does not seem to help. so i keep reaching out for things that will help me. I guess the biggest thing that bothers me is that may WAW just does not want to talk. she is not saying divorce but she says she will come to the table in her time not my time. how the hell do i take that. Is it just as hard for her? i just don't know what to do any longer. you have no idea how bad I am mentally.

Just have to say my Dr also told me that my vitamin D and B12 is critical low so im getting shots and a take a vit D pill from the Dr. this he said will also cause me mood to be low.


How the hell do i move on? how do i let go but keep the hope if there is any. I know this is stupid but it has been just over a year but i still love her.

any one feel the same way and how the heck do you cope and get out of this funk.