It sounds to me like you are doing remarkably well - but its hard every day, isn't it? I know personally that if I let myself start to think "long term" I start to crumble. I try to take things "one day at a time".
Despite how young you and your H are, it definitely sounds like he is experiencing some sort of crisis, possibly triggered by the "stroke". What was his childhood like? Some sort of trauma in childhood seems to often be a common denominator.
It is definitely easier to not know, and not obsess over, the details of what the WAS/MLCer is up to. Not only does he think you can never forgive him, he wonders if he can ever forgive himself. Guilt is a terrible burden.
I'm glad you found the DB boards. I know coming here helps me, I hope it can help you too.
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
