Take the hits and keep moving forward.

[Papa4Life]

It stll stings, huh, T1000? That's norm. It's gonna take time, although that's not what you want to hear.

The next time she brings it up, you should probably ask what brought her to that point and then listen and validate. She'll probably say she was confused, lonely, and most likely that she regrets it. Guys are scum, let's face it, so all of our WAWs probably have vultures circling around overhead, sensing vulnerability and weakness. This guy probably means next to nothing to her, which is good because it means she was probably thinking about how easy it would be to ditch him if and when she decided to be with you again, which seems like the realization that she's coming to through all of this.

After she's said her piece then you can say that you understand what she said and thank her for her honesty. Then make it clear that the boundary that you need to set to protect yourself and your kids is that, if you want to work on reconciling, she must agree not see this guy or have Rs with any other guys, and that you would like to eventually seek MC. An STD test might also be wise, but play it cool on that point. It might come across as sounding like a punishment, but, well, there you have it.

In the meantime, do what you have been doing: go to the gym, watch GoT, Dexter, Breaking Bad. Let her initiate contact and try to maintain distance.

Oh, I just remembered: you've got to be careful about starting off too quickly with running. Your lungs might be able to handle it, but your muscles and in particular your joints need time to build up strength. Do you have an iPhone or Android phone? If so, you can download a running app (I use Personal Running Trainer and I'm loving it) that will lay out a schedule that will help you work your way up gradually. You start out running for a minute then walking a few minutes and repeat that a few times, and gradually you run more and walk less until you are just running from start to finish. It's much better than just running until you almost collapse, because that puts you on a fast track to runner's knee, which will require you to rest for a week and by the time you're done recuperating you'll probably have already lost interest. At any rate, I've been running for 3 months now and I can comfortably run 30 minutes at a stretch and I'm working on the 10k program now. That despite the fact that I had such pain in my knee after the first couple of weeks of going it alone that I had to see a PT to make sure I hadn't torn a ligament or something. She said what I just said: build up slooowly, take 48 hours between runs, and try not to do too much.

Hope this helps!