Some things have shifted for me this weekend but maybe not in a db kind of way.
I am actually relieved I am no longer with my h.
I will continue to act nicely and pleasant towards him but I hate his guts (and his girlfriends too). Yes I think I will continue to hate them even when I move on to my next relationship, I will act kind but it will be an act. This man left his two children when they were 1 and 2.
This weekend my h couldn't pick up the girls at his usually schedule Friday night pick up so he picked them up Saturday instead. Saturday night I find out from my girls that he had the babysitter come at bed time and she put them to sleep then he went to a birthday party. Next morning girlfriend had slept over.
So this month he may put his kids to bed two nights, if he chooses to stay home.
Why does he need shared custody if he is gonna go out boozing on anight he had the girls? The girls told me who birthday it was and he is essentially a drinking buddy.
My h is a high functioning alcoholic. If his behavior continues in this trajectory I am going to ask that he take breathalyzers before he picks up the kids.
I feel sorry for this guy but he is a monster and she is his accomlist..
Don't want to end this post on a negative note; past two days of glorious weather have been wonderful for me and the girls. I am totally happy and grateful for what I have. Honestly I have the most beautiful angels in the world. I am blessed!
Thanks again for your feedback
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Bklyn.. sorry to hear about your bad day. Looking back 22/23 years ago, my h left me and my 8 month old for a 17 year old little girl. I was 23!. I died, thought life was over for me. Took 2 years then I met my current h. Once I got involved with new bf (at the time), my focus on hating him for hurting/leaving us subsided. I got busy with my new life, new bf, exciting times (miss them). Anyway, ex-h went through a handful of gf's/wives over the years and eventually I became ever so greatful to the ones who took interest in my daughter. He ended up marrying one, and she became my best friend/sister... can you imagine? (of course their marriage failed too...LOL)
My point is.. you will hate him now... but that will pass & you will be happy! Who knows what the future holds!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
This Saturday was my D3 princess party. It was amazing! I am so glad you guys encouraged me to have it. The weather was perfect, the kids were adorable and my d3 was beside herself. Both girls are still talking about it.
STBX came to the party but he was like a ghost. His body was there but there was no one there. He basically didnt move from one spot. He chatted with his parents and some parents that made efforts to talk to him. He didn't even distract himself with the awkwardness around the adults by engaging with the kids. It was really eye opening for me.
I was as casual as possible, I chatted with him and his parents for a little while. I tried to be a gracious host and treat him like a random guest.
Sunday night he called to say hi to the girls which I found surprising since he generally calls only once a week at bedtime.
Then later that night he sent me a threating email saying if I didn't agree to mediation and if me and my father didnt stop delaying this we have no choice but to go to court.
His accusations are totally insane. His own lawyer is robbing my H blind and blaming his delaying and over billing practices on me and my Dad. I emailed him back giving him 2 or 3 quick examples of how his lawyer delays and lies then I told him I would be sending him the finalized parenting agreement this week with my signature on it and next week I will send him the finalized finacials with my signature. Then he can decide if he wants to continue or not.
(By the way the email was simple and to the point not angry)
After seeing him at the party, in some ways it really helped me get over him because he is barely a person. I don't understand how anyone could be in a relationship with him.
In other ways it made me super sad because he is such a half-a$$ dad to my amazing daughters.
I have been having more and more moments of pure happiness and thankfulness of my wonderful life.
I can also see how much healthier I am today. How I really short changed myself when I was in a relationship with him trying to please him all the time. I didnt even know I was doing it. And it was futile, he was never going to be happy because he is so unhappy inside.
Love you guys
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Glad to hear you are in a good spot right now. Your H is a fool.
Don't know if you read up on my sitch but my H's attorney is trying to withdraw. H wrote some stupid letter to the judge presiding over our case that he can't afford his attorney anymore because of the delays cause by my lawyer and me. Like the judge is gonna feel sorry for that buffoon.
These guys need to be shoved in a room together so they can be MLC together. Wouldn't that be interesting?
Hang in there BK.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I am so happy to read that the party was a huge success! I hope you got some amazing photos.
I'm sorry your h is a Disney dad right now and not participating in more of your daughter's lives, but it appears that he's just a shell of the man he once was.
Your h's behavior sounds a lot like the behavior that my xh exhibited at his grandfather's birthday party. Body there, but the person inside was out to lunch. I'm sorry he's still acting out.
However, you sound so much better and I'm glad you are continuing to move forward. It takes a long time to get to a better place, but once you are there, things begin to look brighter and more positive for you.
Have a great day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I was thinking about you, wondering how the party went
I'm so glad you had the princess party, I'm sure it is something your daughters will never forget!
It is sad to see the shell person. I wonder if maybe he was so strange and uncomfortable because a part of him realized what he is missing out on, and he just doesn't know how to deal.
Your daughters are lucky to have an awesome mom
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
