It would be selfish for you to change and then just leave her behind without giving her a chance to change after she put up with the worst of you for 2 years
This^^^ is a really good reminder cbtdad
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
So it's 6pm and no word from W about coming to see son tonight. Not surprising at all. What does surprise me is that she came back to own today to pick up horse stuff. So she can drive back to get stuff for horse, but not to see her son. I'm at a loss for words
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Lol!! Thanks Urworthy. You are right. It's still just shocks me is all. I try my hardest to understand its her choices and its where her mind is, but I just can't seem to get over how she doesn't realize how selfish that is. I won't let it effect my attitude around son tonight. We are about to start cooking dinner together. He loves to help me cook
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Bustingout, I really love that comment you wrote, it puts so much of the separation into perspective. We are not here because of a couple of weeks worth of issues, but long term worth of issues. "It would be selfish for you to change and then just leave her behind without giving her a chance to change after she put up with the worst of you for 2 years"
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Hotwheelsaust, Let me tell you where that came from. It's something I try to remember all the time when I begin to judge wife. A guy that I am very fortunate to know told me that. He runs the Retrouvaille program here where I live. The first day I had lunch with him he aske me what my biggest fear was. I said, "losing my family of course". He said, "that's every mans fear. What really scared you?" I said, "honestly what scares me the most is me pulling a 180 and becoming the best man I can be and her not changing at and me not wanting to be with her anymore" He said, "that's selfish. Your wife put up with the up with the worst of you for the past 2 years and then you become the best person you can be an dont give her a chance to change. That's extremely selfish" He said that she would only begin to see her faults and change when she believes and trust that you have changed
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
