Beginning and end of a bright green morning

[optimist]

Thank you my friends for your good thoughts and support.

I have not written these days because I cannot think what to add. Last Wednesday, H came home really late and was totally distraught. Stricken. He reminded me of myself when the bomb dropped. I really felt sorry for him, he was so lost. Could not eat, did not sleep... sound familiar?

He took me up on the offer to stay till Easter was over and he was there all the time, very careful to tell me where he was and include me in any planning of his days.

On Sunday night, my D was happily playing with "Bunny Rabbit," the little stuffed toy that one of our neighbors gave her (this neighbor dressed in a bunny outfit and hopped around our street playing Easter Bunny for all the kids), and laughing and playing with her Daddy... I just did not have the heart to tell her that Daddy was leaving, this time for good.

I guess I am a wimp. I let him stay. But I could not care less what he does or does not. Yes, Betsey, I had also recognized we are in the same boat now. Except that your daughters seem to be more accepting of a divorce than mine. Of course she just turned 5 and understands very little of what is going on. Myself, I totally feel like your daughter does.

So he has been working in my garden (which he never used to do before the bomb, either with me or with the wh*re), calling me several times a day, coming home early and spending lots of time... and he even finally called his CPA, got the numbers and is having his CPA do the taxes at my request... He told me we could have whoever I wanted do them.

But my heart is no longer in it. And I wonder whether his is.