ToMrBond,25yearsmic,big bruce,Lostinscared,crimson

[Papa4Life]

Just came across your posts, Brahmin. It's easy to feel a bit neglected on this BB, I know, especially when there's something we'd really like some feedback about. I've found that commenting on other people's threads will attract other people to my thread. That might be something to consider. Meantime, just keep posting and people will respond if they've got some tips that might help you out. Remember, in all things: patience.

That said, it sounds to me like W is definitely square in the middle of the anger phase. The best thing you can do is listen and validate. For example, when your W says "all of this is your fault", you could respond by saying, "It sounds like your angry and I'm hearing you say that I was responsible for much of your unhappiness. I never meant to make you feel that way. Can you explain to me what I did that made you feel this way?" And then you listen and validate. You let her punch herself out in a way, rope-a-dope style!

Just try to remember that she's hurt and confused right now and the best thing you can do is DETACH (W happy, you happy, W sad, you happy, W angry, you happy) and never let her bait you into an argument. She's looking for confirmation that all you guys can do is argue and you've got to deny her that.

Be patient. What are you doing about GAL and PMA?

Hang in there, Brahmin. Things will get easier if you just give it time.