Chris, job well done on the convo!! It sounds like you did a great job of shutting up and listening, and validating when she expressed emotions. The only small comment I would make is regarding this:
"I told her I understood, because I know I feel similar. "
Don't say things like this because her belief is you can't possibly be experiencing what she's going through, and if you say you do then she'll find it insensitive. But that is just a minor blip in an otherwise great job of validation
Originally Posted By: ChrisN
So, I do not know what to make of all of this. I'm not going to rush in or push. Is this a standard thing for a WAS? or is my W really "thinking"? I don't want to get caught up in mind reading though...
WAS's are confused and in turmoil inside even though they usually don't show it on the outside. Every now and then they might pour out their emotions like this. The proper thing to do is validate and then continue on like nothing ever happened. I know the first time it happened with my W I thought it was a huge turning point and that it was the first step towards piecing. It wasn't. It wasn't anything at all, just her talking out loud a little. Afterwards she went right back to the WAW script. So like the others said already, just stick to DB'ing. Remember the squirrel (or castle) analogy, let her come to you on her timeframe.
