Just jumping in here to give you a thumbs up.. Have many a time envisioned a meeting with ow.. Have always hoped to be this cool, classy and collected..
And this lady actually hoped you would sit her down and tell her how you plan to boot your H before telling H himself .. WOW.. Delusional !!!!
Also wondering does it give you some kind of a closure..
Take care
hoper me-40,H41 M-15 S-6 Looks like MLC,living together
Tvs, you handled that so well! You are amazing. I think OW is desperate. Your H may be pulling away from her and she doesn't have as much control as before. Her talking to you would be a way to try to get back in control. What she wouldn't realize is this would only tick your H off and make him pull further away.
The next thing and probably the only thing you may want to play out in your mind is OW confessing to you. I think you can handle anything else she says just as you did. That is probably the only thing that would throw you off. So if that ever happens, you know how to react.
I've thought about that before in my sitch and it usually ends up with me saying to them, "yes you and half a dozen other insecure women who are desparate enough to be used by a married man. I hope you've been using protection." That always makes me smile but probably not the best approach Oh the things we want to say vs the things we should.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
I just want you to know, though, because I always try to keep it real, that IF it comes to him wanting a S, no matter how prepared you think you are, it is going to be tough to hear.
But, good for you for knowing what you are going to do if that ever happens. Good to have a plan. Wish I had at the time.
T, I know this is so not what you ever wanted to have happen, but I gotta tell you, you have thrived and changed and grown so much.
Actually, I were in that situation, I would have told the OW that I was concerned about my H's health. Especially the herpes scare that he had a couple of months ago.
Then see what she would've said after that!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
T, I agree w/UR 100%. No matter how much you are prepared if a S should occur, it will still be tough to hear. I am praying that this doesn't occur. However, know that we are all here to support you along the way.
You have grown so much and you provide such sage advice to all of the posters. You really are an inspiration to everyone. You've been a saint and do have the patience of JOB. God has a plan for you, we just don't know what it is just yet.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
OMG..what a surprise to comea to your thread and read this. I know you are heaven sent..but how the hell did you control the urge to punch that life sized cabbage patch doll in the face. Take care sweetie. It's not over yet. Sending positive thoughts.
Tvs, the color green should have been on her shirt....as she is green with envy!
Her mantra no doubt is..."I could never be like tvs....I could never be like tvs."
And you know what she has up her sleeve (one of your burning questions)...some of that extra 40 pounds of fat! Lol!
And I laughed when you thought better of asking H "well, do people ever say I am having an A?"
So...many choice lines you could give him. But you have discretion and only say the right ones.
Let us know what happens next
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
It definitely sounds like she was fishing and is not satisfied with the status quo of her R with your H.
Even more interesting times may well be on the horizon for you, be sure you're buckled up.
No matter what, you have a shining moment for yourself in the way you handled the OW convo.
(My wonderfuljob boss has the same name as OW... when I went for the interview and her assistant said "Lets go talk to ____" I thought, Talk to ____? I don't want to talk to _____! I want to run _____ over with my car!!)
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Oh the things we want to say vs the things we should.