Thanks Deb for your support. It is really nice of you to drop by with all you are going through.
Pam, your points are well taken. And you are right in most things. But the stress only forced things in the open that had been suppressed. It did not create them.
CHL, that is a really tough question. I do not know. I cannot and should not force or manipulate my H into doing something he does not want to do, regardless of how much I want him to do it. And I do not have it in me to live in this situation any longer. He resents me and is angry at me for what he perceives as attempts at control. They are not. So I am removing myself from the equation. I just need some peace. Some closure.
I cannot blame him for this. He tried very hard, as hard as he can. I have no right to expect more from him that he can give me. The tragedy for the three of us is that I do need more...
Right now I will finish work and go home, plant a little in my garden and wait for his call. Then we will talk, I hope.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
