First: Make a commitment to follow through with one goal every day.
New goal for today: 1. Go home and spend two hours outside doing yard work.
New project: Document when I get really down and when I get positive. Note where I am, what I am doing, if something was said, done, etc. that set me in that mode.
Reading: Healing your Emotional Self, by Beverly Engel
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I see that while ive been gone you have gotten distracted, taken a trip in the enchanted forest, issued your W an ultimatum, sunk into a depression, visited your therapist.........and now your right back where we left off Friday afternoon- goals for YOU
JP - I love you in a man hug sort of way
you better be doing that yardwork!!!!!!!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
I see that while ive been gone you have gotten distracted, taken a trip in the enchanted forest, issued your W an ultimatum, sunk into a depression, visited your therapist.........and now your right back where we left off Friday afternoon- goals for YOU
JP - I love you in a man hug sort of way
you better be doing that yardwork!!!!!!!
No doubting I run the gamut in a short time. Thank god I am seeing a light, if only for a few minuets. Need to work on sustaining that. Thanks for your support.
Yes, I will do the yard work and even leave my phone inside ;-)
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Hey J, I wanted to tell you a few things, if that's ok.
I know how you feel about taking meds. I fought it for a long time until I couldnt anymore. It took many combinations and trial and error to find the right ones. You should not feel exhausted.
Also, exercise is really important. Helps with depression and anxiety.
I am no longer on them. Havent been for a long time. So, that can be another long term goal for you.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Sent W an email that said how I have been seeing more of how I was in the past and why I was that way, not saying I was changing, just that I was becoming more aware and apologized for it. I wasn't sure if I should have done, that, but I did. I received an honest response from her and it was positive in the way that she wants me to succeed and hard to read, but I can't complain. Debating on posting, but IDK if I should. This isn't what I am supposed to be doing, I am supposed to be leaving her alone and working on myself.
So I too have a big bed :-) I know the feeling you are having. I think it is good to be alone and reflect on everything, yet be careful not to let sadness or depression sneak up on you, it is very easy to do ;-)
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I understand the depression. Every day you see yourself, see you can do better and tomorrow you swear you will, but it seems that the hole just gets deeper.
I understand this, I have been there and so have many others. When you see your therapist I would like you to at least open a dialogue about meds.
I hit bottom, wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, single mom, no H, he has new girlfriend, working, doing Masters degree. I went to my doctor and said "Give me drugs" He said "IO, you are one of the strongest women I know" I said, "NOt right now I am not and I am very close to not getting back up at all"
He gave them to me lol!! (anti anxiety and sleeping).
But the point is I recognized this in me, just as you recognize your depression. It doesn't make us weaker to admit these things and get help, it only strengthens us when we need it.
uW said exercise helps, it does. Acknowledging that you have friends who care helps, you do . At least open the dialogue my friend.
Don't worry about posting whether you wrote W or not, we need to see the focus come back to you. How can you take care of anyone else if you are not willing to care for you?
Thanks IO, I was just saying what I was up to for PS post.
I see my psychiatrist once a month and have been mixing up the meds to try and get it right.
Right now I am on two different AD and anti anxiety.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Hey J, first of all, dont ever been afraid or doubtful of posting here. That's what this forum is for.
Now I'm not saying you wont hear some opinions about it, but, they are always given with the intent to help in some way.
Just a quick thing about the email. If the intent was to apologize for your past actions, that is not necessarily a bad thing. But you should know she is not ready to really hear it right now.
Right now, she is just trying to get through her stuff. If you did it with an expectation, well, that's not a good idea.
