Taking a step back-a fresh start

[cbtdad]

Thanks for the positive thoughts Mach.
I don't know why, but everytime I see your name on my thread I still think I'm about to get a 2x4. Lol
I see exactly what you are thinking. As a matter of fact I was just thinking to myself to be careful and remember where I was 7 or 8 months ago and how terribly I was treating my family. I think this is where I get confused on whether I want it to work or not because I start thinking of all the negative things and choices. And then I get upset on why she wouldn't just work on herself and our marriage. But then I realize why would she??! I spent so long doing terrible things and treating her horribly, why would she think that could change.
I'm reminded that just a couple weeks ago I told her I upset and bitter I had become about the lying about OM. She said take the last 3 months that she was lying to me and times it by 6 and that's how she felt for so long. Ouch
I also keep reminding myself what I wise man told me. It would be selfish for you to change and then just leave her behind without giving her a chance to change after she put up with the worst of you for 2 years