Just putting it out there, when in a WAS situation and you have begun the process of detachment, GAL, being friendly and changing yourself for the better, can this make the WAS feel more resentment towards you.
Early in the process the WAS just wants to hate the LBS and they look for any reason to do so. My W told me at RetroV that she initially despised my changes. Her thoughts were "if it's so easy for him to change then why didn't he do it a long time ago?" She eventually figured out I didn't change before because I didn't know I needed to. As soon as I found out how I had wronged her, I changed it all. Had she said something before she was already one foot out the door we may still be happily married today. She also said she was angry that I took over all the chores in the house because it made her feel like she wasn't needed there. Eventually she came to realize that it was a good change that I made for the family and not a bad/ selfish one, but it took her many months to get there.
That's why Cadet says to do it for you. Because no matter what you do, your W is going to hate it because that is where her head is at right now. So do the right thing, do it for you and for the kids. Be the best you that you can be. She will hate you for it at first. That's OK, keep doing it. Eventually she will respect you for it, and maybe some day even love you again for it.
