But if this goes south, I will feel terribly used by H. My efforts to heal with him and our dds will help him in his goal of reconnecting with girls. But I'll get nothing out of it, except the satisfaction of knowing I did my best and learned to evolve. I need that to be enough...
I tell myself this as well. If anything, H will at least have been given every opportunity to be the best father he can be with the kids. I am learning to let that be more than enough. Perhaps this is the goal for now.
It is exhausting... or maybe it's reality in the way that relationships take a lot of presence and conscience efforts and I didn't do that before. I'm just feeling the stress of the last year and feel it's all on my shoulders, including the hope of our family's future. If I played along with H we'd never speak and there'd be no hope at all.
It is exhausting. That is something to think about...I like what you said about R's taking more presence and conscience efforts..I agree..and I know I certainly didnt do it in the past. Something to think about for sure...
my greatest fear in continuing as friends with H is being taken advantage of.
I spoke to my coach about this very feeling. He said I was reacting out of fear. We need to be authentic to ourselves...genuine in our interactions. What the WAS chooses to do with it, is their issue...not ours.
((((reb))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
