My Story - Need Advice (Thread 2)

[Accuray]

A few more notes for you as I know you can't see these things when you're too close:

You pursuing:

I asked her how it made her feel in her head and heart.

That's a hopeful comment where you are leading her to say that her heart yearns for you or something similar. Just ask how it made her feel.

You pursuing:

That I was sorry she felt she had to make it, but, I would help and support her anyway I could.
I said that it has been nearly 2 months and if she wanted to we could start talking, I would listen to any/everything she has to say. That I was concerned for her, and why her heart and mind seemed conflicted.

Her distancing in response:

She then told me that we couldn't just start over again, that we'd be back in the same place in 6 months.

More distancing:

But she said she couldn't commit to anything (meaning R) because she didn't know who she was anymore or what she wanted in life.

When she makes these statements, these are flags to you that you are pursuing. These are answers to questions you are implying if not directly asking. You are still telling her that you haven't heard that she needs space.

If you're less available, and LESS supportive, she won't need to constantly remind you that she needs space.

Ideally YOU should be the one saying that you're not sure where your paths are going to lead and you're just going to take it day by day.

I know it's hard, but give her space to work through this stuff. You can be supportive, you can validate how she feels, but don't push for more, and don't "lead the witness". "I'm sorry you feel that way, that must be difficult" is about where you want to stop.

Accuray