L also said to cool my jets and don't try to reach her today.
I agree. Take some time, get out and get it off your mind off of this for a bit. Come back and see what the vets have to say. Hang in there!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I can't stop crying. I'm supposed to be asleep. Agree to lay low. C in a few hrs. Think I will go twice this week.
When will God be good to me again.
I also get angry. I don't want to hate her.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
God never promised us that this would be a great, abundant life, that comes later. Most of the apostles died horrible deaths for simply telling others about Jesus. If even Christ's own disciples weren't saved from pain, agony and death, then why should we expect better treatment?
We have the "gift" of free will which means we are completely and totally responsible for everything in this life. I love God with all my heart, but I realize now that he is detached from me in this life. He's there, I talk to him, but I've got to make this work on my own. Better things are promised for the next life, but for the here and now we need to work with what we're given.
C was frustratingly short. Didn't feel like I had enough time.
He suggested that he's not L but letter is vagu and Im not obligated to respond.
Response thats swimming in my head:"2 intelligent adults should be able to sit down and talk about what is best for their child without getting others involved" "especially at 100's of $ per hour." "I am wiling to hear and consider any suggestions or ideas you have on what you think is best for S. are you willing to hear mine? Perhaps we could do it with a counsellor present. It certainly would be a hell of a lot cheaper."
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
When I'm at my lowest lows, why do I do things, seemingly deliberately sometimes, that will drive me lower? Like worrying, dreading the future, holding on to thoughts. Is this depression?
Also avoiding things that might make me feel better like funny movies, happy people. I feel a sense of gult about trying to feel better while my life goes in the toilet. Fiddling while Rome burns.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Yes you are depressed. Go through that, experience it, confront it. Then slowly make your way out of the darkness. Release the fear and overcome it. You can do it. Take things one day at a time.
I know how hard it is to go through the idea that your W has chosen someone over you. But you have to remember that YOU have worth. YOU matter. YOU are strong and will continue to be strong.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Didn't go to work. Can't get out of bed. Supposed to call L but no answer yet. Try again at nine. 1st real sleep in days but can't keep my eyes open one minute, then wide awake with anxiety the next.
D is at OM. Hopefully s is at school. S20 is home w/me.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
