The "I don't know who I am or what I want" thing is an inflection point. I believe that you are best served by not being too available through this phase, as hard as that is.

Why? She's trying to decide what she wants.

When she's by herself in her small apartment and don't have you for emotional support it will force her to think. If she's miserable she'll be apt to remember the good times with you and start to romanticize them.

When you are in her presence, however, she'll be apt to be reminded of why she left and focus on the pain and the negatives. Despite your 180's, your mere presence is going to work against you until she is more receptive to a new you.

From my perspective if she starts to talk about moving home or spending more time together, you need to play a bit hard to get. Make her question if you're just on the shelf waiting for her, or if maybe you're enjoying this new space you've found.

People value what they need to work for, and don't value that which is given freely. Let her pursue YOU if she wants to come back.

This is another part of DB that is completely non-intuitive and your head and heart are going to want to rush in and be her shoulder to cry on. Don't do it. That will land you in friend zone and you want a wife and a partner.

Time for you to lean out so she can lean in.

The stakes are super high right now so don't blow this off -- if you don't believe or disagree challenge us here. Your intuition will fool you and take you down the wrong path. Time to be Iron Chris

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015