Hey JP, Feeling pretty good considering all things. Jut really disappointed with W and her decisions. They are hers to make though. Just feel really bad and angry for my son though. He doesn't understand. He just keeps asking for momma. I plan on taking him to park in a little while. Then cooking dinner with him. After i put him down I'm going to watch CBS Monday night comedies.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Sounds like a plan. Enjoy your time with your S, just the two of you! Make it special! Monday Mans night for you and him!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Hey JP, Just feel really bad and angry for my son though. He doesn't understand. He just keeps asking for momma. I plan on taking him to park in a little while. Then cooking dinner with him. After i put him down I'm going to watch CBS Monday night comedies.
I completely understand feeling bad and angry, however the angry part will eat you up and destroy any chance of R. That is a tough nut to crack but crack it you must. I am truly sorry you and your son are going through this, just keep loving him the best you can.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Thanks subguy. I'm trying to take URworthys advice when she says, "Use any feelings of anger you will have as a way to propel you forward. Feel them, and then let them wash over you and let them go. Otherwise it will weigh you down and sap your energy."
I'm not even thinking about R at this point. I don't know if I want that anymore. I need to just focus on me and take it from there. Maybe if we both changed then it could work, but right now the person I see I wouldn't want to be married too. It's really sad, but I will not let the anger out on her or son. I am finding other things to keep me busy
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I understand it hurts when you hear your son cry for his momma. As a mom, it breaks my heart to hear it.
And I think you were upset and hurt a bit that she wanted to bring your son around ow. Even though, as you say, you are separated and on the way to divorce - it still hurts.
And sometimes when we hurt we get angry.
I think you feel what you feel. And one should never deny one's feelings.
So, when you are ready, you will need to let it go.
Holding onto it doesnt serve you or your son well.
I promise you that even though he is young, he is sensitive to your feelings and can sense when you are upset or angry though you might try to hide it.
You need to let him see that he gets to be with daddy. And daddy is so happy he gets to spend all this time with him. Make new traditions with him. Snuggle in a favorite chair to read him a book each nite or sing a certain song during bath time each night.
These things go a long way towards making him feel safe and secure.
It isnt going to stop him missing his momma, but, it is going to help him adjust to what may be his reality right now.
I know you cant understand your wife's actions. I think she is struggling right now, too.
This is what she has chosen for now. And while you dont agree, she has a right to live her life. Just as you have a right to live yours.
Make every moment with that little boy count, C. Make new memories, and love him up.
Thanks Urworthy! You always have the right words at the right time. I like how you say this reality right now. That's a great way to look at it. Doesn't mean it's going to be like this or feel like his forever. Interesting new twist. It turns out that OM does have a girlfriend. I guess he is having his cake and eating it as well. I just don't understand my wife right now at all, but these are her choices and what he is deciding and I can't do anything about it:)
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
C, it is hard to understand something when it is so drastically different than what you've known, ya know?
But who cares if he has a gf? This is not a relationship based on love and committment.I think your wife is unhappy and doesnt know why and he is a bandaid.
It has to play itself out.
You just do your thing and leave them to weave their own webs.
Thanks. I did think about sending her a message on FB for a moment, but then I realized that its not place to out her boyfriend. It would just be a vengeance thing and that is an ugly side of anger.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I am very glad you didnt. I wouldnt send or say anything to her. Why? BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOUR LIFE! AND YOU DONT CARE BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO BUSY LIVING YOURS, RIGHT?
