You have received lots of great advice re. your H - protect yourself, let things flow, don't overthink, don't mind-read, detach, go dark... Yet, I still see you completely focused on HIM.
KG, I get what you're saying. I want to say "Give me a break. I was D-ed yesterday! And then XH did all these strange things. So of course I wanted to post about this to help me deal." But I understand that you're not just referring to this.
I guess I post to help me think stuff through. And to vent. I post when i need to get over stuff and am having trouble. When i need someone else's perspective.
I tend not to post about stuff i manage on my own.
You know we are here to support you - your sitch is not easy at all and we want the best outcome possible for you. Yet all we hear about is your H. I for once would love to hear about NLW...
What do YOU want?
Money. I want to be paid back for all the money XH has taken. And I want money to help support our kids.
If i had this, i'm not sure I'd even want anything to do with XH any more.
Is that terrible?
What would you like to see happening in your life 6-months from now, 1 yr. from now, 5 yrs. from now? I'd like to have my mortgage paid for by XH. I'd like to have him pay down all the cc debt he incurred through cash advances. I'd like him to pay back the money he took from my parents and kids. Then we could get on with living our lives decently, with some comfort and security.
What are you doing to get there?
Paying thousands of dollars that i don't have to a L.
What GAL activities are you currently doing? Today? Went to the movies (Ironman, loved it!) on a free ticket MIL gave me for Xmas. Kids came too and paid for themselves (sad).
This week, this month? Walking dogs, going to work, talking to friends, doing school stuff with kids, teaching D17 how to drive, gardening, painting a fence, baking, visiting elderly parents, watching football, watching old movies (Cat on Hot Tin Roof, Suddenly Last Summer, Life & Loves of a She Devil), reading novels (Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Scoop).
But both kids have just come down with impetigo - believe it or not. It's terrible. They are confined to house due to infection. Can't wait till i get it too. I'm worried that it's happened due to the stress they're under or even because of our poor diet.
What else do you have planned to do differently to enrich your life in the near future? Get back out meeting new people. Admitting my D-ed status and living like a D-ed woman, not a limbo 'faux' wife.
Let me get to know NLW better... I know she is a wonderful person and as a friend, I'd love for her to share more with me of what is good in her life and what her dreams are!
Dream is to travel with the kids to UK. We used to go regularly but have not been now for 3 yrs. But how to do that in current financial sitch ... Would love to do it as a reward for D17 finishing her senior year and before she goes off to college.
