Well, your update was interesting in that it shows that every takes so much longer than any of us would like.
I am glad that you and H are still enjoying each other - - as my H and I are too. But holy moly, the waiting is about to drive me nuts! You are waiting for your H to come clean and get rid of OW in his life once and for all. I am waiting for my H to come home.
Maybe Michelle should write a book about PATIENCE and the art of waiting?!?!?!?
Have a great day and hang in there. Hope all is well with your DD!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
IT IS SPRING! I am back in my garden! So far I have restrained myself and manage only to dream, plan and weed, not plant yet (the third week of March is the recommended safe date)...
Who cares about H's antics when your garden is waiting?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Quote: Who cares about H's antics when your garden is waiting?
Boy do I second this! LMAO! Going to go out and work on tiller later after a visit with my new good friend!
Like you, I'm excited! Got some seeds yesterday! Hey, I'm jealous, I have to wait until May 1st before I'm safe to plant!
I did like the letter from Jaime! I think it applies to your sitch! Have patience, things take a while to get to where they need to be. Your H has to clean up his mess, it won't happen over night.
Just know that you have passed into a new stage; you have him at home!
I am not sure anyone is going to be masochistic enough to go through all my stumblings and endless circlings, but if someone has the temptation this should make it easier... though not more digestible...
Reflexions to self: It does take a long time to learn the obvious, more is the pity.
Last edited by optimist; 03/10/0410:19 PM.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
So far things continue to be stable. I am weeding my garden, helped by D and H... (who actually does not much like to garden: it was one of the wh*re's major gripes) and planting some seeds (it has been raining a lot, which helps ). We've bought a few plants and are starting to really get into the work part of gardening fun.
I had a weird dream last night, rather peripatetic, I'd say. I woke up to find myself snuggled against H, which helped, but I wonder what my Id is up to...
I am not sure of where or when I was, but I was walking along with the wh*re's pastor (a well known personality in the evangelical world). He was asking me why our divorce was taking so long and why was I obstructing it. I got the distinct impression that he had had the info from her.
I explained to him that his source of information was totally wrong. That my H and I were not getting a divorce and were actually fairly close. That she must know that was the sitch, because she had not gotten subpoenaed to depose in the D, and she was one of parties to the adultery (this said in an absolutely matter-of-fact, non-accusatory way). He kept asking probing questions and I answered them, explaining how my H spent most of his time with us, the nice things he does and making the case FOR my H's good behavior and the wh*re's delusional thinking!!! ME!!!
Believe it or not, I went on telling this guy that she was still working for him because it was not fair to punish her daughter's for the mother lack of moral compass (their college depends on her income), and that my H had no intention whatsoever of marrying her at all.
At that point I woke up, with none of the anguish usually associated with flashbacks. I do not know why I even answered the questions (this guy is not my pastor, and I do not know him at all), let alone why I took my H's 'side' so to speak.
What is happening to me? Any ideas?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I second that! Sounds like you are really db'ing in your dream! How cool is that....you have really internalized the principles of divorce busting...how can you lose now?
Hmmmm... could this be forgiveness perhaps??? I hope so. Because then you will be on that wonderful path to TRUE happiness in your M... I think (and you know I am NOT Shiny or Sage) that your lack of anxiety when waking up is an indicator that maybe you are accepting the past, forgiving and moving on. JMHO, of course.
PS... I ate three tiny asparagus spears (au naturel) out of my garden today... and they say asparagus doesn't grow here.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
- as my H and I are too. But holy moly, the waiting is about to drive me nuts! You are waiting for your H to come clean and get rid of OW in his life once and for all. I am waiting for my H to come home.
