Is this MLC or WAS? Don't know what to do...

[BrightFuture]

I feel that I don’t want to fight for my M anymore. I feel that I’m very close to accepting the thought I will be divorced. I know that I will be fine without H. Yesterday I was remembering how he made me feel during last few years of our M. He was doing all things that a good H would do, but there was no affection. No matter how hard I tried to look my best, to look sexy, etc., he didn’t notice and it didn’t matter to him. At the same time he was making compliments to our female friend, and she is not even close comparison to me. She is a nice person, but that’s it. These feelings of frustration were so vivid yesterday, and I told myself that I don’t need to experience this any longer. If my H doesn’t have any special feelings for me anymore (even though he says that he loves me), why do I want him back? There is somebody out there for me who will appreciate me.

I don’t know if I’m completely detached. It feels like it sometimes. But, then I get anxious and scarred thinking about how I’m going to react when he shows up with the D papers. It’s like I’ve made up all this new life without him in my mind, and I’m OK with it. But, when I think about the things I will have to do to get through D, I’m back to being down and sad. I’m wondering that it might feel the same for WAS. They have it all figured out in their heads, but when it comes to the reality of D, they are not so sure anymore. This is why H is not in a hurry with it. Just a thought. I might be wrong, and he already filled in the paper work and is planning to bring it to me before he leaves for another state.