DBing European Style, part 2

[Papa4Life]

I don't know what it is, maybe just having time alone or the events of the past week or so, but I feel like things are finally coming clear for me about how DBing works and what W and I both are going through. I've also been reading through sandi2's old posts, and that has been a tremendous help in understanding what brought W to this point. I realize now that I made ALL of the classic mistakes, andI don't know (don't think) that I can turn things around anymore, and that's okay. I'm feeling better about muself having come as far as I have with regaining my independence and working on socializing and PMA and all that. My confidence levels are inching back upwards and I am looking towards the future with more confidence.

I don't know what it would take for W to change her mind, but I can't sit around worrying about that. AnotherStander is my role model, and I'm going to try to emulate him and even think about what he would do (or how other vets like sandi2, cadet, mrBond and others would respond) before I do anything rash. So thanks, guys. I absolutely appreciate all your feedback and tips.

I know that the whole mediator meeting is coming up and W wants to tell the kids about the D after S10s b-day celebrations are over. I will have a tough time with that, I'm sure, but at least I know I'll be able to focus on supporting them and being there for them to help get them through this with as little lasting pain as possible. But I won't be grieving for myself, because all of this has taught me that I can have my own life in this place and I can start afresh without W. I can even feel sympathy for W in what she's been going through. I could never have said that before, I was too hurt, sad, and scared to even consider her pain -- heck *I* was the victim here, right? Well now I realize that this cuts both ways.

Head up and chest out. That's the right way to greet the new day.