1) Yes, they do tend to leave everything behind except for a few clothes. Some will only take photos and momentos of their childhood and others will take photos of their children. If the belongings are not bothering you, you can leave them where they are. If they are bugging you, pack them up and put them someplace safe until she either asks for them or you give up and file for divorce. BTW, leaving things behind can also be used as a "door" to open to have excuses to return to the home to pick up things along the journey...this is your call as to what you want to do about them. BTW, they do wash their hands of the "present" time until they begin to wake up. The past is what is hounding them right now and that's where the focus is for the mlcer...going back to a time where they were emotionally stunted and growing up.
2)You do not bring up relationship discussions unless the mlc raises the subject. They will never be able to give you an honest answer as to why they walked out. The excuses are very shallow, so it's best not to ask at this time. There will come a time when you'll have the opportunity to discuss things w/them, but while they are in anger, replay and depression, you'll only make them that more determined that they've done the right thing by leaving you. Leave this discussion until much later.
3. I don't advise asking about another person. They usually don't tell you the truth and if they do, they are always "just friends". Believe me, if you sit quietly, the answers will come. Mlcers have loose lips and they do love to talk about their lives, if you sit back and listen and not ask questions.
4. No, there is no way you could have missed a full blown mlc. What your wife is doing w/reconnecting to her family is very, very normal. She's gone back in time and needs to revisit her family and what transpired.
5. Mlcers suffer from depression. Some sleep, some don't, some eat, some don't. It all depends upon the individual. I suggest you read the threads on this form about depression.
6. Yes, your wife misses you...but only as a friend/companion. She's not referring to the deep love she has for you which is now stuffed deep within her soul. She may miss her home or some things that you use to do together. Some mlcers do say this. It's not a game tactic. You can respond with "I miss you too" and then leave it alone.
7. Yes, a mlcer can trigger a mlc in the lbs. It does happen periodically, whereby when the mlcer is coming out of the crisis, the lbs is going into one. Check out M Go Blue's postings. He had this happen.
I urge you to read up on depression as mlc is driven by emotions and the main ingredient is depression.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
