isn't he supposed to worry about himself right now and making himself the "better option" as opposed to making demands she doesn't want to meet?
I have a different perspective than most here, I am the cheater in my marriage. I cheated on my husband. I ended the affair, I reconciled.
LTH, being the better option, does not mean being a doormat.
What kind of woman is going to return to a doormat? No one. In my opinion you need to find a healthy balance between being a doormat, and being a bully.
There are active and direct things a man or woman can do to combat marital interlopers. Simply doing some personal housecleaning is not in my opinion everything that can be done. Make plans : call a lawyer to find out your rights, setup a separate bank account to protect yourself financially, start packing you belongings, if you have children begin drafting a separation agreement yourself, etc.
The idea is to show your spouse that you mean business and will not tolerate being humiliated and disrespected.
Until my husband began to speak up for himself, I had zero respect for him, and had no interest in returning.
I had no business cheating on him in the first place. But the fact is, people who are addicted to an affair aren't going to think morally. We think practically when we are cheating. And practically speaking, no woman will likely return to the home or the arms of a man that allows a woman to disrespect him like this.
Once my husband began respecting himself enough to speak up, I began respecting HIM again. It wasn't long after that, that I recognized him as the better man and saw OM for what he was : a disrespectful interloper who was just using me.
Being the better option does not mean being a doormat. In DR MWD discusses LRT in detail. In my opinion in many cases on this forum LRT is long overdue. And from my personal experience it's the most effective tactic in her book.
