Beginning and end of a bright green morning

[optimist]

Pam just had a great insight about my sitch, while we were chatting on IM. Here is the convo:

psluke1 (12:04:22 PM): It partially sounds like communication to me
psluke1 (12:04:26 PM):
optimistdb (12:04:36 PM): communication?
optimistdb (12:07:06 PM): You mean he does not see that his buying the house she lives in and changing his retirement accounts to a guy that calls her to set up appointments and writes to him to her address might upset me?
psluke1 (12:07:55 PM): Yes, he isn't seeing what you are saying he is hearing something totally different
psluke1 (12:07:59 PM): I think you aren't asking what he is thinking but it is like you are neither one totally understanding the other and locked into your positions.
psluke1 (12:08:08 PM): I am not explaining well
optimistdb (12:08:08 PM): I know
optimistdb (12:08:17 PM): No, you are explaining it fine
optimistdb (12:08:24 PM): that is how I feel
optimistdb (12:12:05 PM): Any ideas on how to get out of the impasse?
psluke1: but how do you get him to see that without feeling attacked and controlled?

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Any suggestions? I am abusing poor Pam enough...