Need info on WAH's access to home

[Papa4Life]

Sorry your here, Rider. You're never alone here. We all share similar stories and we know the pain you're going through (hoo-boy, do we know...).

My best advice to you is, well, to keep doing what you're already doing. I.e. Work on yourself and find what it is that you need to make you happy again. Act as if you are ready to move on, with or without H, and try not to talk too much about or show H the hurt and sadness you are feeling. It's natural to feel that way but it is very unattractive to the WAS (have you read DR?). Begging and pleading and saying I love you only make the WAS more aware of the fact that they don't feel that way about you. Consider, if you will, a drug addict or alcoholic. Has any addict ever really turned their lives around by being reminded constantly of the mistakes they've made? Not really. So what does it take? It takes somebody being strong and saying, I'm not going to sit here and let you hurt me by your actions. They need to hit rock bottom and the only way they can ever do that is if you take away the safety net. And what is the safety net we provide? A safe "fallback" place. They think, it doesn't matter what I do, what risks I take, because if it doesn't go the way I want, S will always be there to tend to my wounds. Right? So deny them that safe place. Make it clear (through your actions: going out, being mysterious, not being awake when they get home, not calling/emailing/texting) that you are moving on and so your H will be responsible for the consequences of his own actions. Go dark. It's a real eye-opener to the WAS and it's better for you because you're not letting H's actions dictate your own emotional well being.

Above all: be patient. More patient than you ever thought you could be. Otherwise you just make yourself crazy and that's no good for anybody.

I believe in you. Ponygirls are tough chicks so I know you can do this!

Hope you have a better day.