The positive is that your kids see these interactions and realize that it is okay. That you and H can get along and interact and be okay with everything. I think even if you are saying to yourself ' this is not working' it really is because you are growing in the situation, learning about you, and showing the kids what compassion, grace and kindness look like.
Your expectation of what should happen and the reality of what is happening don't come together. But I'll take a good reality any time
