Stuck..how do I get out???

[mizjjd]

I feel like my kids will be messed up forever because of this and he just has no concept of his actions and how it affects them

While this will certainly affect your children, it doesn't have to result in "messing them up." Unfortunately, the burden of this rests mostly on you. Your H is not capable of taking care of himself right now, let alone children.

But TnD, you do have an opportunity to give one hell of a life lesson to your children - one that can counteract the damages that might be done by H. You can show your children compassion, strength, integrity, love, commitment, resilience, a sense of humor, resourcefulness, hope, optimism, patience, understanding, consideration, maturity.

Or, you can show them panic, dismay, despair, bitterness, retaliation, anger, jealousy, hate.

I often question whether or not I am Ok with this because he still has never once explained the past few years and his prior actions etc.

He may never fully explain. Have you read some of the posts by those who have come through MLC? (Maybe a vet can refer you to a name or a link ) It seems some of the stuff is simply not remembered by the MLCer. Some of it is perhaps too painful for them to grasp, especially during recovery, and it sounds like your H is not even fully into recovery yet.

Maybe sitting and waiting for him to come around is still not the correct thing to do.

Definitely NOT the right thing to do!

TnD! You are to be Getting A Life!!

Acting "as if" you are going on with your life without H in your plans!

GAL and "as if" doesn't mean you treat your H badly, just that you treat yourself well!! Make plans for yourself, both with and without the kids. And when you go out the door,smile at H and wave.

If H goes out the door without you, smile and wave.

Turn your PMA dial onto high. Get crazy about you!

What do you like to do TnD? I'd like to hear some FAQ's re TnD

Make today a good day!!